Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Aw, HELL no. It's on, Martha Gibson of North Yorkshire

So this Martha person seems to have bagged the World's Loudest Clap record from the good folks at Guinness.

Anyone who has attended a sporting event or ABBA concert with me -- or, really, spent more than an hour and a half with me, in person -- knows that my clap is clearly louder than a lorry roaring by or a washing machine at full spin.

All I'm saying is this: your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to do the following:
  1. Track down a decibel-o-meter,
  2. Determine the precise conditions used to measure Martha's clap,
  3. Simulate those conditions with me,
  4. Measure my clap, and
  5. Assuming my clap blows hers out of the water as if I was calling "G-7" and sinking her battleship, submit my clap for consideration to the Guinness people.
Ready? Go!

[UPDATE: It's now Ma Honglie, a public-bath masseur in China, who holds the record. Martha's clap weighed in at 73 decibels. Ma's is like 97 decibels. Formidable. But, seriously? A public-bath masseur? I would not want to shake his hand in congratulation. Yeech.]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"...because he proved more skillful in clapping hands [than seven-year-old Martha Gibson]."

Way to go, Ma Honglie. Takes a lot to out-skill a first-grader.