Sunday, June 29, 2008

The clock is ticking ... 3 posts! 3 posts! 3 posts in one!

I know I promised an article about Milo and also one about the Olympics. And I know it's been almost two days since I've posted. Here's the thing, though...three "the thing"s, actually:

  1. Milo is a rabbit and, it turns out, rabbits don't really do that much,

  2. The Olympics are still five weeks away and my preview would require actual research (and I know that you are on to my Wikipedia thievery), and

  3. It's so nice just to sit back and watch the craptastic Jurassic Park sequel "The Lost World" right now.
Therefore, I shall give you a post about Milo, followed by a post about the Olympics, and as a bonus (and because things are funnier in threes), a post about "The Lost World" -- all in one! Sadly, the best I can marshal for you is about a fourth-grade reading/writing level. Here goes...

Post #1: A Rabbit Named Milo
I have a rabbit. His name is Milo. He is awesome, but he doesn't really do that much. One thing about rabbits is that they can be litter-box-trained, and Milo is. He was that way when I got him from the Indiana House Rabbit Society, which sounds like some sort of small mammal militia seeking to secure voting rights for lagomorphs, but which is, in point of fact, a well-organized collection of rabbit advocates who take in wayward bunnies and foster-parent them until some poor schmuck like me a permanent parent comes to adopt them.

Milo is very soft. He is also brown and white, and he looks funny from behind. You wouldn't guess it, but Milo can stand on his hind legs and he reaches about a foot and a half in height. (Pretty big, right?) He mostly hangs out by his cage or under the couch (there's about a six-inch clearance and that's plenty for him). He sleeps most of the day and most of the night. He's crepuscular, which means active around dawn and around dusk.

If you sit on the floor, he'll come over and sometimes even hop in your lap to let you pet him. If you're not sitting on the floor but you're wiggling your feet, sometimes Milo will headbutt your feet; he's kind of got a fetish.

I'm glad to have a rabbit. He always comes to the door to meet me when I come home and, even though he's still a little skittish (millenia of prey-animal psychology will do that to a guy), I think he's getting used to being my roommate.

Post #2: The Summer Olympics Preview
I think it's cool that the Summer Olympics will take place starting on 8/8/08, 39 days from now, in Beijing, which, you may not know, is in China. I think the logo for the Beijing Olympics (shown at right) is weird. Like, lanky and misproportioned, which is not what I think of when I think of China, except for maybe Yao Ming. (Oh, and also Bao Xishun, whom I've posted about repeatedly.)

The Beijing 08 website lists all the sports in this time's summer games. Here are some sports that I didn't know were summer Olympic sports:
  • Badminton

On the Beijing 08 website, you can also learn how to say lots of things in English (which I am mostly fluent in), French (which is spoken in France), and Chinese (which, come on). For example, let's say you need to know how to say, "Most Chinese festivals follow the lunar calendar." I know I say that at least twice a week here in the States, and to be in Beijing and not know how to say that in both French and Chinese would be mortifying. Therefore, you'll be glad to know that I've clicked over to the "Learn Foreign Languages with Fuwa" Channel (whatever or whoever Fuwa is...oh: Friendlies!) and I have now learned proper pronunciation and can proudly announce, from the Great Wall to Tiananmen Square, "La plupart des fĂȘtes chinoises dĂ©pendent du calendrier lunaire!" in a manner quite similar to a Parisian with dissociative amnesia.

Anyway, in terms of a preview, here are some things to watch for, based on the three and a half minutes of research I have done so far, mostly in the form of typing "Beijing Olympics controversy" into Google:

  • China doesn't value human rights the way the rest of the world does should. You can tell because people have gotten all upset when the Olympic torch relay went through their country. Apparently, in addition that whole Free Tibet (with purchase of Tibet of equal or lesser value) thing, more than a million Chinese people have been displaced by Olympics preparations - like their houses have been torn down and whatnot. (Although China says it's more like six thousand households.)
  • Also, China has ties to Darfur. (I kind of think Darfur needs a We Are The World-caliber anthem, because people don't get it.)
  • Because of recent scares regarding toothpaste and dog food made in China, some people are concerned about the safety and security of food and supplies that will be available there this summer.
  • The security budget for Beijing is reportedly one-fifth of what was spent in Athens in 2004. (Although that article I linked says the security budget for Beijing is $300 million, which would make the Athens security budget $1.5 billion, and that would surprise me.)
  • This ridiculous Speedo LZR swimsuit is all they're going to be talking about. If a guy or girl in a TYR suit wins any medal, it'll be anarchy -- dogs and cats, living together...greco-romans and freestylists wrestling in the same matches...

In conclusion, Bank of America has a website called America's Cheer, and I am begging you to go see it right now. You know, they can't all be as good as "Go Get Them Howard" below, but they're pretty good.

UPDATE: I just figured out that he says "Everyone at Orange County Badminton Club..." I didn't even know Badminton was an Olympic sport. (See above.)

Post #3: Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World
OK, this movie just sucks -- The Internet agrees -- and they're not even to the part where they (ridiculously, I might add) transport a live T-Rex to San Diego. I'm switching it.

The End

Scotty S.
Grade 4


Sarah said...

I also watched about 15 min of The Lost World before realizing I could be washing dishes or scrubbing a toilet for a more entertaining evening.

jss said...

Ok, (on the Milo topic) have you seen the 7up commercial where the rabbits burrow into the fridge and steal the 7up? That has got to be one of the funniest ads out right now... Maybe I'm retarded, but I laugh my a$$ off every time I hear that rabbit burp and then hide the can behind his back.