Thursday, September 18, 2008

Snap out of it!

Well! These last few posts have been melancholy at best, depressing as hell at worst. (And to top it all off, my dad had medical issues today, too. *Debbie-Downer-style trumpet sputter: waaah, waaah.*)

Anyway, in order to get over this funk, I shall, in true Scott Semester fashion, disregard (or at least make fun of) the negative and focus on something that (at least) I think is funny.

Therefore, dear reader, I present to you...THE 50 MOST RANDOM E-MAIL SUBJECT LINES IN MY "RANDOM" FOLDER. My "Random" folder is where I put all my stuff (to me and from me) that doesn't fit anywhere else (Church, Work, Motus, Mensa, Writing). Currently, 4450 messages from the last three years populate my "Random" folder, and the following are some of the subject lines that, alone and without even reading the attached message (many of which are even hilariouser), make me laugh:

  1. You Yumans are in big trouble
  2. In-N-Out LAX Hack
  3. Re: You here four hour! You scare my wife!
  4. Martez: "It's another day, that's all it is...just another day”
  5. Class 8 CPDCAAA
  6. Directions to rescue your dog
  7. Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-NUH-nuh, nuh-nuh.
  8. Re: Breakfast is the most important deathtrap of the day!
  9. PERSONAL EFFECTS: One yellow metal ring intact on left ring finger, one marital aid
  10. RE: Most Ironic. Whale-watching Tour. Ever.
  11. "[The Christian radio station where he is also employed] issued a statement asking for prayers," indeed.
  13. Laurie is desperately looking for a Wii system
  14. RE: Horror hostess seeks minion. Advancement opportunities.
  15. Re: Bullzee-bullzee-bop! Ziddybop!
  16. Why is it always “Christine”?
  17. Joker! Joker! Potent Potables!
  18. RE: Wait -- "uneat"?
  19. RE: "If I have to watch one more episode of Storm Stories..."
  20. RE: I'm the only one working here.
  21. Citizens Academy 4: Asshats On Patrol
  22. Re: Count Blogula Strikes Again!
  23. Fw: "I've got a witness!"
  24. Safer Sex for Seniors -- It DOES Exist!
  25. Eddie Murphy Loses Mind, Gains Spice Girl
  26. “After a while, you get tired of deli food."
  27. RE: Birthdays, Key-Throwing Blind Dates, and Single Adoption
  28. Re: Going the Extra Mile in the Fight Against Breast Cancer (Click to see bald Scott)
  29. "There's a Japanese ghost in here, dudes."
  30. The new word of the day is... awesinine.
  31. Butt Naked In The Lincoln Bedroom
  32. I never would have guessed they would have poor parenting skills
  33. Very Important Duckpin Question
  34. Tastes Like Poisonous, Australian Chicken
  35. I'ma make make make you scream, make you scream, make you scream!
  36. Predilection for Porn from Parma
  37. RE: Ricky Martin cannot WAIT to pee on you.
  38. Wait -- Jesus was a vampire?
  39. Re: Why everyone else is stupid
  40. That wet, ploppy sound you hear...
  41. Wait -- "National loser"? And my junk.
  42. I can't tell if she's pissed or just a New Yorker
  43. The Arab Times Humorist of the Week -- It's a Contest!
  44. RE: Shut up and let me HELP you!
  45. RE: Han-Sook and her cousin-brother, Visitor
  46. RE: Disgusting Child Killers need love too. Can we please change this subject line?
  47. RE: Samantha FoxNews: Fair, Balanced and Sexually Desperate
  48. Roomba Reflections
  49. Re: I'm using you for connections AND for sparkling conversation...
  50. Re: War is not "neat," nor is that e-mail

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