Wednesday, November 26, 2008

That's ... um ... specific

I somehow found myself on this afternoon and was browsing the casting notices just in case they were looking for, you know, an unemployed, mid-30s goofball, fluent in Spanish and Starbucks, for a new reality-show pilot about a former Eagle Scout who turns to a life of crime. (Not that I've done that ... yet ... but I could be persuaded, if the price is right and there are cameras to follow my every move.)


I was browsing and saw the harmless headline, "Host for Hot New TV Pilot." I saw that it was only open to people who live in California, so I was about to click away, but then I saw even more requirements that I did not meet. To wit:

In case you're having trouble reading and/or embiggening it, let me transcribe:

YOU: Midget with contractor's license. Must have car, own tools. No dopers, scammers or whiners.* Irish accent. Tagalog fluency a plus.

* It was really the "no whiners" part that wouldn't allow me to make the cut. The rest of it, I could fudge.

Now then. I don't know what kind of "hot new TV pilot" this is going to be, but I. Want. To. See. It. So if you know of any midget contractors with Irish accents who are also fluent in Tagalog, please to be referring them to the aforelinked page.

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